Pain
"If the Pain doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger." - Sir, Mr. See.
... Oh, "and when you train with me gentlemen, I assure you that I won't kill you".
Haha, not sure if Sir got it from somewhere else, but its amazing how true it is. It is one of the things which have been drilled into us since Sec 1. I remember being humbled by all my seniors when I saw how hard they all trained. I have, until then, never seen the likes of them. They might not have completely enjoyed doing what they did, but when they trained, they trained hard and uncomplainingly. Outside of training, they hardly speak of how hard they trained, but when they're in it, 100% was a given. And that was how I learnt. It was unspoken; they taught us the ropes in silence. That was how I first learnt how to fight. To keep going, fighting the pain, silently and uncomplainingly. To search deeper within yourself when you could find no more, and when there is truly nothing left, to search in those beside you who are going through the same if not worst. And that was about the most important thing we learnt. What it was to fight, to preserve, to give it your all - silently and uncomplainingly. It was to be the basis of many other things to come.
Back in sec 1, pain was pretty much a one dimensional word to me. It was quite simply, physical pain and no more. Of course, physical pain can take many forms as well.. you have the muscular ache, the direct, sharp pain of an open wound ( its an insider thing which only kayakers/canoeists will know), or the blunt pain of certain types of injuries etc, etc. In this context, Sir's phrase will apply only to that of the muscular ache and perhaps the open wound (I'm not sure of this, but I think my pain tolerance towards open wounds has, sadly, increased after all this years... lol). Having a serious injury equates pretty much to being dead since its irreversible, and hence, the phrase doesn't apply to the physical aspect of it. Notice I said it doesn't apply to only one aspect, because if you are able to live with it, you'll come out of it a stronger person. One dimensional though it may be, physical pain alone is by its own right, challenging to grapple with. It might seem strange, but one of the reason why I train hard back then and even now when I'm retired is because I'm afraid of pain. Truth be told, I'm rather afraid of pain, especially physcial pain; but that's also why I train hard. I train hard to conquer my fear of pain as it were, and I suppose to some extent I've been successful for I daresay pain is something rather familiar now. Not that I'm no longer not afraid of it, I still am, but the limit at which I start getting afraid now is much further back as compared to in sec 1. Back then, learning to fight and deal with physical pain was something which pre-occupied me to quite a large extent. I guess I did learn several things through all that wrestling with physical pain - for one, I learnt determination and willpower. With these came self-control, for I was better able to control my emotions and temper. A whole host of other things came from just trying to grapple with physical pain; but it'll take too long to list them all. In any case, dealing with physical pain had several approaches, but it was mainly that of confronting it with willpower and determination. Of course, it also helps to have happy thoughts when you're going through crap. If the pain doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger.
As time when by, the forms in which pain manifested itself to me multiplied. As we move away from the more common definition of pain, that of physical pain, perhaps I should define pain more clearly. I suppose pain is something intense which is out of your comfort zone.. be it in any aspect. I began to see that pain can be manifested in other ways besides that of physical. The most obvious one was mentally. Training took its toll on the physcial body, but often, it is the mental toll which prove to be fatal. Add to the fact that one has to cope with studies and sports, and you get a not very enviable position. But of course, the 2 are managable, but things starts getting difficult when you start having to live alone as well. Living alone, while it does gives you unlimited freedom, has its downsides too. For one, the freedom is useless when you have no time, and for another, living alone poses its own set of challenges. It was then in sec 4 that I first became aware of pain in that manifestation. Until then, I have never quite felt mentally fatigued before, but for that one week in which I was living alone, I felt it. It was bascially a feeling of being strecthed too thin and of being.... alone. Not to say that I do not enjoy time spent alone by myself in reflection or otherwise, but believe me, you do wish for some company when you get back home at 2200hrs and you still have to do menial chores like washing your training gear and watering plants. In any case, when your mentally tired you just feel like not fighting anymore, to give up, to drop the horrendous, monotonus routine of studying, training, sleeping and chores. Mental pain gnaws at your fighting spirit, something which doesn't feel very good. But in any case, I guess I did grew stronger out of it all. I became a mentally stronger person, someone more able to withstand blows. Or rather, I was confident that I could deal with them because I've dealt with worst. Dealing with such pain is a pretty straightforward one... you simply met it with more tenacity of purpose and mind. So I suppose Sir was still right; if the pain doesn't kill you, it'll make you a stronger person.
As time went by even more, I became aware of the worst manifestation of pain.. or at least it is the worst in my opinion. That of emotional pain (Incidentally, it was a jab of such pain today that made me wrote this rather long post). It tears and pulls your heart in different directions, something which is absolutely awful. Your mind is just simply thrown into a turmoil of emotions from which it is difficult to pull out of, much as a stricken ship in a whirlpool. It is difficult to do anything when your mind is in such a state. Emotions are curious things; they are both our greatest strength and weakness. Quite simply, they are one of the things which makes us human. The ability to feel, to cry, to laugh. Its easy to lose one's head in a whirlpool of emotions; in a flood of heart-wrenching emotions. To shun them though, is to not feel what it truly is to be human. The trick is to be able to pull yourself out of it. It is not so much of being impervious to it, but more of feeling the pain in full force, but knowing that you'll be able to pull yourself up again, to get back on track with life. It is a different type of willpower required from dealing with the other 2 pains in the sense that it is not a straightforward confronatation. To confront it head-on is to shun it, but there is only so much before the dam bursts. Rather, it is more of swimming along with the powerful current in a flood, but knowing that you'll be able to pull yourself up to safety at the first sight of a overhanging tree branch. On another seperate note, one of the best way (I feel) to counter such pain is to pray. Its amazing how God can fill your heart with a sense of peace with the world and oneself. In any case, it is difficult to put these things in words, or perhaps my command of the language is simply failing me. These are but analogies, to understand, one would have no choice but to feel them. If the pain doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger. Amazing how true that is.
... Oh, "and when you train with me gentlemen, I assure you that I won't kill you".
Haha, not sure if Sir got it from somewhere else, but its amazing how true it is. It is one of the things which have been drilled into us since Sec 1. I remember being humbled by all my seniors when I saw how hard they all trained. I have, until then, never seen the likes of them. They might not have completely enjoyed doing what they did, but when they trained, they trained hard and uncomplainingly. Outside of training, they hardly speak of how hard they trained, but when they're in it, 100% was a given. And that was how I learnt. It was unspoken; they taught us the ropes in silence. That was how I first learnt how to fight. To keep going, fighting the pain, silently and uncomplainingly. To search deeper within yourself when you could find no more, and when there is truly nothing left, to search in those beside you who are going through the same if not worst. And that was about the most important thing we learnt. What it was to fight, to preserve, to give it your all - silently and uncomplainingly. It was to be the basis of many other things to come.
Back in sec 1, pain was pretty much a one dimensional word to me. It was quite simply, physical pain and no more. Of course, physical pain can take many forms as well.. you have the muscular ache, the direct, sharp pain of an open wound ( its an insider thing which only kayakers/canoeists will know), or the blunt pain of certain types of injuries etc, etc. In this context, Sir's phrase will apply only to that of the muscular ache and perhaps the open wound (I'm not sure of this, but I think my pain tolerance towards open wounds has, sadly, increased after all this years... lol). Having a serious injury equates pretty much to being dead since its irreversible, and hence, the phrase doesn't apply to the physical aspect of it. Notice I said it doesn't apply to only one aspect, because if you are able to live with it, you'll come out of it a stronger person. One dimensional though it may be, physical pain alone is by its own right, challenging to grapple with. It might seem strange, but one of the reason why I train hard back then and even now when I'm retired is because I'm afraid of pain. Truth be told, I'm rather afraid of pain, especially physcial pain; but that's also why I train hard. I train hard to conquer my fear of pain as it were, and I suppose to some extent I've been successful for I daresay pain is something rather familiar now. Not that I'm no longer not afraid of it, I still am, but the limit at which I start getting afraid now is much further back as compared to in sec 1. Back then, learning to fight and deal with physical pain was something which pre-occupied me to quite a large extent. I guess I did learn several things through all that wrestling with physical pain - for one, I learnt determination and willpower. With these came self-control, for I was better able to control my emotions and temper. A whole host of other things came from just trying to grapple with physical pain; but it'll take too long to list them all. In any case, dealing with physical pain had several approaches, but it was mainly that of confronting it with willpower and determination. Of course, it also helps to have happy thoughts when you're going through crap. If the pain doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger.
As time when by, the forms in which pain manifested itself to me multiplied. As we move away from the more common definition of pain, that of physical pain, perhaps I should define pain more clearly. I suppose pain is something intense which is out of your comfort zone.. be it in any aspect. I began to see that pain can be manifested in other ways besides that of physical. The most obvious one was mentally. Training took its toll on the physcial body, but often, it is the mental toll which prove to be fatal. Add to the fact that one has to cope with studies and sports, and you get a not very enviable position. But of course, the 2 are managable, but things starts getting difficult when you start having to live alone as well. Living alone, while it does gives you unlimited freedom, has its downsides too. For one, the freedom is useless when you have no time, and for another, living alone poses its own set of challenges. It was then in sec 4 that I first became aware of pain in that manifestation. Until then, I have never quite felt mentally fatigued before, but for that one week in which I was living alone, I felt it. It was bascially a feeling of being strecthed too thin and of being.... alone. Not to say that I do not enjoy time spent alone by myself in reflection or otherwise, but believe me, you do wish for some company when you get back home at 2200hrs and you still have to do menial chores like washing your training gear and watering plants. In any case, when your mentally tired you just feel like not fighting anymore, to give up, to drop the horrendous, monotonus routine of studying, training, sleeping and chores. Mental pain gnaws at your fighting spirit, something which doesn't feel very good. But in any case, I guess I did grew stronger out of it all. I became a mentally stronger person, someone more able to withstand blows. Or rather, I was confident that I could deal with them because I've dealt with worst. Dealing with such pain is a pretty straightforward one... you simply met it with more tenacity of purpose and mind. So I suppose Sir was still right; if the pain doesn't kill you, it'll make you a stronger person.
As time went by even more, I became aware of the worst manifestation of pain.. or at least it is the worst in my opinion. That of emotional pain (Incidentally, it was a jab of such pain today that made me wrote this rather long post). It tears and pulls your heart in different directions, something which is absolutely awful. Your mind is just simply thrown into a turmoil of emotions from which it is difficult to pull out of, much as a stricken ship in a whirlpool. It is difficult to do anything when your mind is in such a state. Emotions are curious things; they are both our greatest strength and weakness. Quite simply, they are one of the things which makes us human. The ability to feel, to cry, to laugh. Its easy to lose one's head in a whirlpool of emotions; in a flood of heart-wrenching emotions. To shun them though, is to not feel what it truly is to be human. The trick is to be able to pull yourself out of it. It is not so much of being impervious to it, but more of feeling the pain in full force, but knowing that you'll be able to pull yourself up again, to get back on track with life. It is a different type of willpower required from dealing with the other 2 pains in the sense that it is not a straightforward confronatation. To confront it head-on is to shun it, but there is only so much before the dam bursts. Rather, it is more of swimming along with the powerful current in a flood, but knowing that you'll be able to pull yourself up to safety at the first sight of a overhanging tree branch. On another seperate note, one of the best way (I feel) to counter such pain is to pray. Its amazing how God can fill your heart with a sense of peace with the world and oneself. In any case, it is difficult to put these things in words, or perhaps my command of the language is simply failing me. These are but analogies, to understand, one would have no choice but to feel them. If the pain doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger. Amazing how true that is.
posted by Jun Yi at 6:34 PM
2 Comments:
Haha.. yes, we're really very much indebted to Sir and what he has done for us all. He who has given up so much of his time to coach us and to allow us to learn so many things which we would have otherwise been ignorant to.
I doubt that Sir would be reading this, but if you are; Thanks for all the things you have done for us Sir.
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