Emotions... and Trust
Recent events have reminded me of how powerful our emotions can be... how inexplicable and inexorable they are. One of the things which distinguish us, the dominant species on this planet, from all others. One of the things which makes us human. A sharp, double-edge sword it is.
I remember believing that emotions were what made us weak. I felt back then in sec 1 that emotions were irrational, something which defies our rational thoughts. I felt that only the weak were emotional. The emotional aspect clouded their judgement and made them less objective than they should have been. Emotions, I felt, affected their ability to execute their duties logically, and to perfection. It is curious that I now see emotions in such a radically different and positive light 6 years on. How the change came about is one which I myself am not too sure about. There wasn't any... underlying causes so to speak, nor any 'trigger events' that made me saw otherwise. It was an extremely gradual process, and one to which I have not much recollection of. Perhaps part of it may have something to do with my rather sensitive and emotional sister. In any case, I no longer see emotions as a weakness of humanity, but rather its greatest strength.
Life is a curious thing by its own right. What does it mean to have lived? What does it mean to have lived as a person; as a human being? To me, to live is to have experienced life in all its different lights. To know the ups and the downs, to have felt the joys and the triumphs, to have wallowed in a quagmire of sorrow, to have felt all the other various, intense emotions. It's not so much the individual achievements as the path it took to get there. The path that was fraught with difficulty, with occasional triumphs, with jabs of sorrows and pain. It is the path that imprints itself most in our memories, not so much that of the individual achievement itself. There are good memories, there are bad memories, but they are all fond memories. These memories capture the emotions we were experiencing back then.. the hurt, the victorious feeling... everything. And these are what we see and cherish when we look back. When we are finally on our death beds, these are the things which we would relish. We would relish the memories of the good times.. and the bad times. The times when we were jubilant and the times when we were in depression.
No one likes getting hurt or being sorrowful, yet it is one of the things which makes us human. The ability to get hurt. I suppose one can then disown the human race and attempt to not be human... but what is the point and purpose? At the end of it all, when we are finally nearing the end of our lives, what is there then to look back at? Simply all our materialistic achievements? Would we then be satisfied with our lives? At having known what life as a human felt like? Or would we feel the emptiness of the vast halls in which all our achievements hang meaninglessly? Ideally, we all wish we would never be sad nor hurt... so why doesn't God protects us from all this? My answer is because if God did so, then He would be depriving us of what it was to have lived. It's the downs that make us treasure the ups in life. I'm not saying that we should all become masochistic, but my point is that we should not be afraid of getting hurt. We should not shun all our emotions simply because of not wanting to be hurt. Shunning them would be to lose what it is to be human. Shunning them is to deny ouselves life. Neither should we wrap ourselves up in an armoured cocoon to prevent ourselves from getting hurt for we isolate ourselves when we do so.. and no man is an island.
Historically, protectionism policies have always failed in the long run. So too have states which have isolated themselves. They have failed because of the principle that no man is an island. Humanity have came thus far not because of our individual brilliance, but because of our ability to form relationships and work together. Our ancestors in the pre-historic times surivived because they relied on each another.. on team work and on their brains. Physically, we were no match for the powerful predators that hunted us on the plains of Africa; but together as a team, we evaded them and became predators instead of preys. We were made for each other in that sense. The ability to work together, to form complex relationships is one of the things which distinguishes us. I'm not advocating that we should all suffer from sloth and become dependent on others, but I'm pointing out that no matter how independent a person is; he is still ultimately dependent upon others. This leads us to the question of trust. Trust has a lot to do with emotions... in the sense that we are distrustful because we are afraid of being hurt.
We do not completely trust and confide in another person because we are afraid that someone who has that much knowledge of us would be capable of hurting us in an unimaginable way. That is why we sometimes prefer to work alone - because we know that we certainly can depend on ourselves. We distrust others and equip ourselves in armour so that we would not be hurt. Yet, if we were to do that, it would only serve to hinder us. It would serve to hinder us, because we were made for each another. We were made to work together, to live together. Western medieval knights fight poorly in the desert or under prolong combat because carrying all that armour is tiring. It is tiring to remain distrustful of others and to continually depend on yourself. Shedding the armour would make us more vulnerable to attacks, but it also makes it less tiring. And when we are no longer afraid of being hurt, then neither will we be of the attacks. In that case, what use has the armour but to tire us? Of course, to not be afraid of being hurt may seem insane... but I think I've mentioned it before in my previous post under pain or failure... can't really remember which one. It's not so much of being not afraid of pain or hurt, but rather knowing that we would eventually be healed and whole again. It may be painful, but with God's grace and His healing, we would be fully healed eventually. It may take a long time perhaps, but we will be fine at the end of it all. It is hope, the belief that there will be a rainbow after the storm that sustains us.
It is less tiring to just trust in others, to believe that they will never hurt you. It is unfortunate that there will be those who do, but let us accept the hurt and move on in the knowledge that God would always be there to heal us. Being suspicious and continously wary of others is too draining. It may protect us, but like the heavy armour, it would soon wear us out. Spinning an impregnable web about ourselves and shunning out all emotions serves only to isolate us and deprive ourselves of what it means to be human. Life is precious... live it to the fullest and without regrets. Live it as a human, not a well-lubricated machine.
I remember believing that emotions were what made us weak. I felt back then in sec 1 that emotions were irrational, something which defies our rational thoughts. I felt that only the weak were emotional. The emotional aspect clouded their judgement and made them less objective than they should have been. Emotions, I felt, affected their ability to execute their duties logically, and to perfection. It is curious that I now see emotions in such a radically different and positive light 6 years on. How the change came about is one which I myself am not too sure about. There wasn't any... underlying causes so to speak, nor any 'trigger events' that made me saw otherwise. It was an extremely gradual process, and one to which I have not much recollection of. Perhaps part of it may have something to do with my rather sensitive and emotional sister. In any case, I no longer see emotions as a weakness of humanity, but rather its greatest strength.
Life is a curious thing by its own right. What does it mean to have lived? What does it mean to have lived as a person; as a human being? To me, to live is to have experienced life in all its different lights. To know the ups and the downs, to have felt the joys and the triumphs, to have wallowed in a quagmire of sorrow, to have felt all the other various, intense emotions. It's not so much the individual achievements as the path it took to get there. The path that was fraught with difficulty, with occasional triumphs, with jabs of sorrows and pain. It is the path that imprints itself most in our memories, not so much that of the individual achievement itself. There are good memories, there are bad memories, but they are all fond memories. These memories capture the emotions we were experiencing back then.. the hurt, the victorious feeling... everything. And these are what we see and cherish when we look back. When we are finally on our death beds, these are the things which we would relish. We would relish the memories of the good times.. and the bad times. The times when we were jubilant and the times when we were in depression.
No one likes getting hurt or being sorrowful, yet it is one of the things which makes us human. The ability to get hurt. I suppose one can then disown the human race and attempt to not be human... but what is the point and purpose? At the end of it all, when we are finally nearing the end of our lives, what is there then to look back at? Simply all our materialistic achievements? Would we then be satisfied with our lives? At having known what life as a human felt like? Or would we feel the emptiness of the vast halls in which all our achievements hang meaninglessly? Ideally, we all wish we would never be sad nor hurt... so why doesn't God protects us from all this? My answer is because if God did so, then He would be depriving us of what it was to have lived. It's the downs that make us treasure the ups in life. I'm not saying that we should all become masochistic, but my point is that we should not be afraid of getting hurt. We should not shun all our emotions simply because of not wanting to be hurt. Shunning them would be to lose what it is to be human. Shunning them is to deny ouselves life. Neither should we wrap ourselves up in an armoured cocoon to prevent ourselves from getting hurt for we isolate ourselves when we do so.. and no man is an island.
Historically, protectionism policies have always failed in the long run. So too have states which have isolated themselves. They have failed because of the principle that no man is an island. Humanity have came thus far not because of our individual brilliance, but because of our ability to form relationships and work together. Our ancestors in the pre-historic times surivived because they relied on each another.. on team work and on their brains. Physically, we were no match for the powerful predators that hunted us on the plains of Africa; but together as a team, we evaded them and became predators instead of preys. We were made for each other in that sense. The ability to work together, to form complex relationships is one of the things which distinguishes us. I'm not advocating that we should all suffer from sloth and become dependent on others, but I'm pointing out that no matter how independent a person is; he is still ultimately dependent upon others. This leads us to the question of trust. Trust has a lot to do with emotions... in the sense that we are distrustful because we are afraid of being hurt.
We do not completely trust and confide in another person because we are afraid that someone who has that much knowledge of us would be capable of hurting us in an unimaginable way. That is why we sometimes prefer to work alone - because we know that we certainly can depend on ourselves. We distrust others and equip ourselves in armour so that we would not be hurt. Yet, if we were to do that, it would only serve to hinder us. It would serve to hinder us, because we were made for each another. We were made to work together, to live together. Western medieval knights fight poorly in the desert or under prolong combat because carrying all that armour is tiring. It is tiring to remain distrustful of others and to continually depend on yourself. Shedding the armour would make us more vulnerable to attacks, but it also makes it less tiring. And when we are no longer afraid of being hurt, then neither will we be of the attacks. In that case, what use has the armour but to tire us? Of course, to not be afraid of being hurt may seem insane... but I think I've mentioned it before in my previous post under pain or failure... can't really remember which one. It's not so much of being not afraid of pain or hurt, but rather knowing that we would eventually be healed and whole again. It may be painful, but with God's grace and His healing, we would be fully healed eventually. It may take a long time perhaps, but we will be fine at the end of it all. It is hope, the belief that there will be a rainbow after the storm that sustains us.
It is less tiring to just trust in others, to believe that they will never hurt you. It is unfortunate that there will be those who do, but let us accept the hurt and move on in the knowledge that God would always be there to heal us. Being suspicious and continously wary of others is too draining. It may protect us, but like the heavy armour, it would soon wear us out. Spinning an impregnable web about ourselves and shunning out all emotions serves only to isolate us and deprive ourselves of what it means to be human. Life is precious... live it to the fullest and without regrets. Live it as a human, not a well-lubricated machine.
posted by Jun Yi at 11:18 PM
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