Of Music, 'Emptiness' and Blogging
I cannot help but be amazed at the power of music. Yes, I know that I've touched on this before, but the power it has is so profound that I think it bears mentioning again. There is something queer about classical music. There is a form of wholesome-ness about it which modern music seems to lack. It seems to nourish the very essence of our souls at times when we are in need of it; there is a healing property hidden within its' notes.
I was pondering about the causes of 'emptiness' after talking to Khairul; and I felt the familiar hollow feeling begin to spread within me. It was then that I was abruptly reminded of classical music and its 'wholesome-ness'. I do not know why it had suddenly occurred to me then, but it did. Listening to the works of old, I inexplicably felt a joy which I had once known but have recently forgotten after entering the armour officer cadet course (AOCC). The lapse in memory was caused not so much by the course as it was from a period of unintentional abstinence from classical music (though the lack of personal time due to the course probably did contributed to it). In any case, listening to some of my favourite works seemed to bring me a sense of calm and peace. Somehow, beyond any comprehension, it filled the emptiness within me and replaced it with contentment. Perhaps the power which classical music possesses is its ability to transport one into another world. As I was surrounded by its embrace, I was momentarily in another world; a world of peace, laughter and joy. A world in which there are no burdens or troubles. Truly, it reminds me of God's kingdom; and listening to it makes me yearn for His kingdom to come. Ever will I hope to see that day arrive.
God's kingdom. I would imagine it to be a place filled with mirth and music. I would imagine it to be a place where there would be music in the air, where children can run freely and happily. I would imagine it to be a place filled with peace and joy, a place where no trouble or burden can exist. It then occurred to me why I never wanted to sign on as a regular officer in the army. Being in the army reminds one constantly of just how much Man has fallen. It is sad to see how depraved Man has became; depraved because we are spending so much time, money and effort simply to prevent ourselves from killing each other. I guess that's one main reason why I would never want to remain in the army for long. Sure, there are times whereby its impressive how much technology in the army can achieve, but ultimately, that technology is designed to kill a fellow man. No matter how 'cool' the weaponry may be, it is still a weapon; a weapon designed to take life away from a man who most probably doesn't even know you. In retrospect, perhaps this is one of the contributing factors for the gnawing empty feeling that I sometimes experience.
One of the conclusions which I came to after discussing this 'emptiness' briefly with Khairul was that a lack of purpose seemed to be a sure contributing factor to it. It also seems to me that this 'emptiness' is not something unique to myself but is shared by quite a few others. I daresay that there are many factors contributing to it, but chief among them would be a lack of purpose. For my own part, I know all too well why we have to serve, but that all the more highlights the sorry state humanity is in; it is an emphaise that saddens me. I have no doubts that this is a main reason why I feel the hollow-ness within me. It simply feels horrible to know that you are spending precious time learning how to kill, and this wastage is all because of how much Man has fallen.
A second reason, I think, for this 'emptiness' is the 'losing' of friends. This is something which can never be prevented in life as each of us will take paths that will diverge from each other. Yet, being in the army worsens it because of the limited time that we have outside of camp. It is sad to see a relationship waning in strength due to a lack of time from both parties. Perhaps this is something which cannot be helped, but knowing this fact does little to ease the discomfort. I suppose one can cherish the memories of the past times, but doing so too often has the opposite effect of making one wishing more for the past to return. Memories, as I've said before, is a dangerous double-edged sword. Think too much and it can something serve only to increase the 'hollow-ness'.
A third reason for this 'emptiness' would be due to memories I think. Memories of good times with/or people when contrasted against the present, lesser times, can gnaw terribily at one's heart strings. This is perhaps one of the worst feelings, especially when you know that there is nothing you can do to remedy the situation. A bout of feeling absolutely powerless only serves to deepen the hollow pit.
Well, time is once again making a fool of me and I'll soon have to book in. I've been updating rather regularly these days despite a tighter schedule, and strangely enough, I think I know why. Blogging has its distinct advantages these days when everyone is leading their own lives. It is difficult to even sustain a prolonged conversation these days, much less recount all that is on one's heart. Blogging however, allows one to express freely on any topic at any time. I doubt anyone should read this anytime soon, but I must admit that I now see blogging as a rather convienient tool to help organise one's thoughts.
I was pondering about the causes of 'emptiness' after talking to Khairul; and I felt the familiar hollow feeling begin to spread within me. It was then that I was abruptly reminded of classical music and its 'wholesome-ness'. I do not know why it had suddenly occurred to me then, but it did. Listening to the works of old, I inexplicably felt a joy which I had once known but have recently forgotten after entering the armour officer cadet course (AOCC). The lapse in memory was caused not so much by the course as it was from a period of unintentional abstinence from classical music (though the lack of personal time due to the course probably did contributed to it). In any case, listening to some of my favourite works seemed to bring me a sense of calm and peace. Somehow, beyond any comprehension, it filled the emptiness within me and replaced it with contentment. Perhaps the power which classical music possesses is its ability to transport one into another world. As I was surrounded by its embrace, I was momentarily in another world; a world of peace, laughter and joy. A world in which there are no burdens or troubles. Truly, it reminds me of God's kingdom; and listening to it makes me yearn for His kingdom to come. Ever will I hope to see that day arrive.
God's kingdom. I would imagine it to be a place filled with mirth and music. I would imagine it to be a place where there would be music in the air, where children can run freely and happily. I would imagine it to be a place filled with peace and joy, a place where no trouble or burden can exist. It then occurred to me why I never wanted to sign on as a regular officer in the army. Being in the army reminds one constantly of just how much Man has fallen. It is sad to see how depraved Man has became; depraved because we are spending so much time, money and effort simply to prevent ourselves from killing each other. I guess that's one main reason why I would never want to remain in the army for long. Sure, there are times whereby its impressive how much technology in the army can achieve, but ultimately, that technology is designed to kill a fellow man. No matter how 'cool' the weaponry may be, it is still a weapon; a weapon designed to take life away from a man who most probably doesn't even know you. In retrospect, perhaps this is one of the contributing factors for the gnawing empty feeling that I sometimes experience.
One of the conclusions which I came to after discussing this 'emptiness' briefly with Khairul was that a lack of purpose seemed to be a sure contributing factor to it. It also seems to me that this 'emptiness' is not something unique to myself but is shared by quite a few others. I daresay that there are many factors contributing to it, but chief among them would be a lack of purpose. For my own part, I know all too well why we have to serve, but that all the more highlights the sorry state humanity is in; it is an emphaise that saddens me. I have no doubts that this is a main reason why I feel the hollow-ness within me. It simply feels horrible to know that you are spending precious time learning how to kill, and this wastage is all because of how much Man has fallen.
A second reason, I think, for this 'emptiness' is the 'losing' of friends. This is something which can never be prevented in life as each of us will take paths that will diverge from each other. Yet, being in the army worsens it because of the limited time that we have outside of camp. It is sad to see a relationship waning in strength due to a lack of time from both parties. Perhaps this is something which cannot be helped, but knowing this fact does little to ease the discomfort. I suppose one can cherish the memories of the past times, but doing so too often has the opposite effect of making one wishing more for the past to return. Memories, as I've said before, is a dangerous double-edged sword. Think too much and it can something serve only to increase the 'hollow-ness'.
A third reason for this 'emptiness' would be due to memories I think. Memories of good times with/or people when contrasted against the present, lesser times, can gnaw terribily at one's heart strings. This is perhaps one of the worst feelings, especially when you know that there is nothing you can do to remedy the situation. A bout of feeling absolutely powerless only serves to deepen the hollow pit.
Well, time is once again making a fool of me and I'll soon have to book in. I've been updating rather regularly these days despite a tighter schedule, and strangely enough, I think I know why. Blogging has its distinct advantages these days when everyone is leading their own lives. It is difficult to even sustain a prolonged conversation these days, much less recount all that is on one's heart. Blogging however, allows one to express freely on any topic at any time. I doubt anyone should read this anytime soon, but I must admit that I now see blogging as a rather convienient tool to help organise one's thoughts.
posted by Jun Yi at 5:32 PM
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