'Officer Commanding, Zulu Company': "My marriage was a mistake."
The last 3 weeks have been relatively easy going for me (hence the time for this post). My daily schedule consists of learning more about our vehicles/weapons from 0730hrs to around 1700hrs at Ayer Rajar Camp where I'm currently attending a mandatory course for all newly commissioned armour officers. It was somewhat interesting (for me at least) to learn more on how our vehicles/weapons work. Besides, talking with our instructors who consisted of civillian DXOs as well as staff and master sergeants, was insightful if not entertaining.
Of course, most of the insightful conversations cannot be discussed here, but I shall share some of the more entertaining discussions. There was a certain instructor, who while watching us dismantle a component from the vehicle, started to share with us his "best advice" for us. Haha.
Him: (With a perfectly straight face) "My best advice for all you guys is to remain single. My marriage was a mistake."
Me: (in shock) "How could you say that?!" (I really do pity his wife if he was telling the truth; Thankfully, I doubt that he was.)
Him: "Its true. If I hadn't married, I would have been at least a captain by now."
One of us: "But surely, family is more important than work."
Him: "Nah, nowadays, there are so many computer games that can last a lifetime. If I hadn't married, I would then have the time to finish them all." (I can imagine Barry fainting if he ever reads this)
Another one of us: "But getting married gives one an additional reason to work. Life is too easy if one is single."
And so the conversation continues on. Haha. Sometimes, I don't even know if our instructor is joking (I sure hope, for both his wife and his own sake, that he is). Somehow, it seemed really strange to hear those words coming from his wizened lips. Haha. But beyond the amusement from those conversations, I was reminded of a similar conversation which I once had with my friend's mum. I remember we were talking about my coach and why he, being such an eligible single, was still not married after so many years. One of the conclusions which we came to was that he has spent too much of his personal time grooming and training us. Considering that I used to see him up to 5 times a week for training after school hours (he was a teacher at my school too), such a conclusion was not without basis. And that, in a way, made me felt rather bad. If training and grooming me into who I am has cost him what I consider to be one of life's greatest joy, then I would rather that he has never made me into who I am because I would never be able to repay such a sacrifice. Yet, I'm quite sure that he has never regretted spending so much time on us. "It wasn't easy Jun Yi, but if I could do it all over again, I would choose to do the same thing." These were his exact words that he said to me when I asked him if it was worth the effort. And that really touched me. Perhaps he has never considered marriage as one of life's greatest joy, but I highly doubt it. It's true that I've never asked him that question before, but I would think that he values it as much as the rest of us do. Yet, he chose us rather than happiness for himself. Why? I don't know to be honest. But my friend's mum and I concluded that it was probably because he had a strong sense of purpose in seeing us become who we are today. Training us into who we are today was some sort of a calling to him.
My friend's mum then went on to tell me of yet another person whom she knew and thought was an extremely eligible single, but who has similarly, chosen to remain single. Incidentally, he too is an ACSian and a doctor by profession. An accomplished doctor who runs a private clinic, this unsung ACSian is part of a group of noble doctors who voluntarily goes over to Africa to help treat its improvished and disease strickened people for free. He typically leaves for a few months at any single stretch to provide free medical services for the poor; and since his is a private clinic, it means that for those few months, he is practically without income. Given his frequent abroad stays, it is perhaps not difficult to understand why he isn't married. Nevertheless, he could have simply chosen the easy way out as many doctors here do by simply living a comfortable, stable life in their homeland. However, this man has chosen to make a difference to those in Africa at the expense of his own happiness and fortune. Why? As with my coach, I believe that he felt a calling to do so. Only a strong sense of purpose could have sustained him in doing what he believed in when the majority of his peers sat by uncaringly, seeking rather to treat the richer who can better afford their expensive services. (I'm not against all doctors, but I'm against certain specialists who charge so ridiculously high for even the simplest of things. I can understand if modern medicine, given the cost of its research, comes at an high cost. But certainly, the poor should at least be spared from the high cost of consultation services. It is sad, but I fear that there are some doctors these days who lack that which is perhaps most vital in their profession - compassion. I know I sound naively idealistic, but doctors have a most sacred skill, and I strongly feel that with such skills come a certain responsibility.)
Our conversations with that particular instructor led me to ponder about the all too familiar yet strange thing called 'marriage'. God made man and woman and destined for them to be united as one in marriage. Yet, there has always been godly men and women who chose to remain single so that they may do what I deem is their calling from God. Paul himself was an example. However, as Paul himself wrote, he has never desired to get married. In fact, he considered this one of his 'gift'. His writings do make me wonder though, whether those who chose to give up on marriage ever thought of marriage as one of life's greatest joy. Perhaps some of them never thought quite so highly of marriage, yet I'm quite certain that there are some too, who did. My question to those who did then, is why not? Is it because they were always too busy with their calling? If so, they would have made a huge sacrifice. Or perhaps the lack of someone suitable? On an even more profound level, I wonder what God's will for them were. Did he meant for them to be with that special someone? After all, he created man and woman to be together. Yet at the same time, he has made it such that some of his people should be single. I suppose it is quite pointless asking such 'why' questions since God hardly ever answers 'why', and who indeed, can know His mind? Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder at them, and hopefully, I will one day know the answers to them.
Of course, most of the insightful conversations cannot be discussed here, but I shall share some of the more entertaining discussions. There was a certain instructor, who while watching us dismantle a component from the vehicle, started to share with us his "best advice" for us. Haha.
Him: (With a perfectly straight face) "My best advice for all you guys is to remain single. My marriage was a mistake."
Me: (in shock) "How could you say that?!" (I really do pity his wife if he was telling the truth; Thankfully, I doubt that he was.)
Him: "Its true. If I hadn't married, I would have been at least a captain by now."
One of us: "But surely, family is more important than work."
Him: "Nah, nowadays, there are so many computer games that can last a lifetime. If I hadn't married, I would then have the time to finish them all." (I can imagine Barry fainting if he ever reads this)
Another one of us: "But getting married gives one an additional reason to work. Life is too easy if one is single."
And so the conversation continues on. Haha. Sometimes, I don't even know if our instructor is joking (I sure hope, for both his wife and his own sake, that he is). Somehow, it seemed really strange to hear those words coming from his wizened lips. Haha. But beyond the amusement from those conversations, I was reminded of a similar conversation which I once had with my friend's mum. I remember we were talking about my coach and why he, being such an eligible single, was still not married after so many years. One of the conclusions which we came to was that he has spent too much of his personal time grooming and training us. Considering that I used to see him up to 5 times a week for training after school hours (he was a teacher at my school too), such a conclusion was not without basis. And that, in a way, made me felt rather bad. If training and grooming me into who I am has cost him what I consider to be one of life's greatest joy, then I would rather that he has never made me into who I am because I would never be able to repay such a sacrifice. Yet, I'm quite sure that he has never regretted spending so much time on us. "It wasn't easy Jun Yi, but if I could do it all over again, I would choose to do the same thing." These were his exact words that he said to me when I asked him if it was worth the effort. And that really touched me. Perhaps he has never considered marriage as one of life's greatest joy, but I highly doubt it. It's true that I've never asked him that question before, but I would think that he values it as much as the rest of us do. Yet, he chose us rather than happiness for himself. Why? I don't know to be honest. But my friend's mum and I concluded that it was probably because he had a strong sense of purpose in seeing us become who we are today. Training us into who we are today was some sort of a calling to him.
My friend's mum then went on to tell me of yet another person whom she knew and thought was an extremely eligible single, but who has similarly, chosen to remain single. Incidentally, he too is an ACSian and a doctor by profession. An accomplished doctor who runs a private clinic, this unsung ACSian is part of a group of noble doctors who voluntarily goes over to Africa to help treat its improvished and disease strickened people for free. He typically leaves for a few months at any single stretch to provide free medical services for the poor; and since his is a private clinic, it means that for those few months, he is practically without income. Given his frequent abroad stays, it is perhaps not difficult to understand why he isn't married. Nevertheless, he could have simply chosen the easy way out as many doctors here do by simply living a comfortable, stable life in their homeland. However, this man has chosen to make a difference to those in Africa at the expense of his own happiness and fortune. Why? As with my coach, I believe that he felt a calling to do so. Only a strong sense of purpose could have sustained him in doing what he believed in when the majority of his peers sat by uncaringly, seeking rather to treat the richer who can better afford their expensive services. (I'm not against all doctors, but I'm against certain specialists who charge so ridiculously high for even the simplest of things. I can understand if modern medicine, given the cost of its research, comes at an high cost. But certainly, the poor should at least be spared from the high cost of consultation services. It is sad, but I fear that there are some doctors these days who lack that which is perhaps most vital in their profession - compassion. I know I sound naively idealistic, but doctors have a most sacred skill, and I strongly feel that with such skills come a certain responsibility.)
Our conversations with that particular instructor led me to ponder about the all too familiar yet strange thing called 'marriage'. God made man and woman and destined for them to be united as one in marriage. Yet, there has always been godly men and women who chose to remain single so that they may do what I deem is their calling from God. Paul himself was an example. However, as Paul himself wrote, he has never desired to get married. In fact, he considered this one of his 'gift'. His writings do make me wonder though, whether those who chose to give up on marriage ever thought of marriage as one of life's greatest joy. Perhaps some of them never thought quite so highly of marriage, yet I'm quite certain that there are some too, who did. My question to those who did then, is why not? Is it because they were always too busy with their calling? If so, they would have made a huge sacrifice. Or perhaps the lack of someone suitable? On an even more profound level, I wonder what God's will for them were. Did he meant for them to be with that special someone? After all, he created man and woman to be together. Yet at the same time, he has made it such that some of his people should be single. I suppose it is quite pointless asking such 'why' questions since God hardly ever answers 'why', and who indeed, can know His mind? Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder at them, and hopefully, I will one day know the answers to them.
posted by Jun Yi at 11:00 PM
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