Marriage
I've had a most interesting 2 weeks since I ended my course at Ayer Rajar Camp. It wasn't quite so much due to me being back at my unit where I struggled between the two extremes of boredom and endless working than it was that I had serveral conversations with different people. To top if off, I was once again reminded of the rather odd and, as some may believe it, coincidental formula - (29+17)/2 = 23. Yes, I know that this formula seems ridiculously simple and normal, yet I cannot help but be amused and amazed at God's sense of humour.
In any case, my conversations with my friend's mum and my coach have shed some light on the curious subject of marriage. My thoughts about this subject have always ended up with the questions at the bottom of my previous post. I shall now attempt to answer some of them with the insights that I've gained in the last week. A disclaimer before I began though, many of my 'answers' aren't really answers in the fashion of scientific answers with rigourous proofs. Rather, they are based mostly on empirical observations, and even so, they may not paint a complete picture since I obviously have not observed much of the world. It cannot be doubted that God approves of marriage. After all, He made man and woman to be together. Indeed, He Himself ordained the marriage between Adam and Eve before the fall and the introduction of evil into the world. Marriage then, was sacred and holy, for it was something which God approved of and created before sin came into our world. The question however, is whether God wills everyone of us to be married. After all, even though marriage is certainly approved and pleasing in God's eyes, are not many of God's most loyal children single? Inevitably linked to this line of thought would be the question of whether we have in all of us an innate desire to be married.
Personally, I believe that all of us do have an innate desire to settle down. That voice is perhaps buried deep within us, but I believe that it is present. In a way, it is analagous to the quiet voices which prompt us to seek a meaning in life and to question if there really is a God. As an aside, I find the following argument rather interesting. There is no reason to believe that something which we desire for does not exist. After all, everything which we desire for, exists. We desire for food when we are hungry; food exists. We desire for water when we are thirsty; water exists. We desire for companionship when we are alone; marriage exists. Well then, if all of us have an innate desire for God, then the only logical conclusion will be that God exists. Of course, many will argue that not all of us have an innate desire for God. To this contention, I have no defence save that those who so argues, should search deep within themselves truthfully and ask the question if they find within themselves an emptiness that can never be adequately filled. I apologise for the distracting detour, but I thought that it would be an interesting food for thought. Returning to my topic on marriage, some might similarly argue that not all of us have within us an innate desire to be married. That may be true perhaps, and quite frankly, I proposed that this desire is 'innate' with a rather large pinch of salt. It may be that I've made the all too easy mistake of assuming that everyone thinks in the same way that I do. Nevertheless, from what I've noticed from other people, there is always this tendency to want to settle down after some time (my conversations over the last week have contributed quite a lot to this observation). Besides, having this innate desire to settle down would be in line with God's approval of marriage and His will that man and woman should be one. Assuming that all of us do have an innate desire to settle down then, we are still left with the question as to why some of God's most holy children remain single. After all, if we so desire marriage, something which God Himself approves of, would not God, our loving Heavenly Father give it to us?
When I told my coach of the doctor mentioned in my previous post, he asked me if I thought the doctor contributed more to society as a single man without the burdens of a family than as a married one who had to care for his family. I retorted that while that he may contribute more being single, one might as well argue that all of us should remain single so that we may contribute more to society without the burden of having to look after a family. His answer was simple. Those who are married contribute not only to society in their professional lives, but they too have a sacred responsibility of grooming the new generation. I guess then, it comes down to fact that God has given to each of us different gifts to fufill his different will for each of us. Some of us have been given gifts which would fufill His will better if we were to remain single while others have been given gifts which will fufill His will better if they were to be married. And ultimately, I suppose, the choice is ours. God approves of marriage, but if we so choose that we would serve Him better as a single man/woman, than He would help us with that decision by 'giving us a sense of fufillment' that married couples do not have. If however, we choose to get married and be settled down, I am certain that our loving Heavenly Father will surely not deprive us of that which He Himself has created and ordained.
In any case, my conversations with my friend's mum and my coach have shed some light on the curious subject of marriage. My thoughts about this subject have always ended up with the questions at the bottom of my previous post. I shall now attempt to answer some of them with the insights that I've gained in the last week. A disclaimer before I began though, many of my 'answers' aren't really answers in the fashion of scientific answers with rigourous proofs. Rather, they are based mostly on empirical observations, and even so, they may not paint a complete picture since I obviously have not observed much of the world. It cannot be doubted that God approves of marriage. After all, He made man and woman to be together. Indeed, He Himself ordained the marriage between Adam and Eve before the fall and the introduction of evil into the world. Marriage then, was sacred and holy, for it was something which God approved of and created before sin came into our world. The question however, is whether God wills everyone of us to be married. After all, even though marriage is certainly approved and pleasing in God's eyes, are not many of God's most loyal children single? Inevitably linked to this line of thought would be the question of whether we have in all of us an innate desire to be married.
Personally, I believe that all of us do have an innate desire to settle down. That voice is perhaps buried deep within us, but I believe that it is present. In a way, it is analagous to the quiet voices which prompt us to seek a meaning in life and to question if there really is a God. As an aside, I find the following argument rather interesting. There is no reason to believe that something which we desire for does not exist. After all, everything which we desire for, exists. We desire for food when we are hungry; food exists. We desire for water when we are thirsty; water exists. We desire for companionship when we are alone; marriage exists. Well then, if all of us have an innate desire for God, then the only logical conclusion will be that God exists. Of course, many will argue that not all of us have an innate desire for God. To this contention, I have no defence save that those who so argues, should search deep within themselves truthfully and ask the question if they find within themselves an emptiness that can never be adequately filled. I apologise for the distracting detour, but I thought that it would be an interesting food for thought. Returning to my topic on marriage, some might similarly argue that not all of us have within us an innate desire to be married. That may be true perhaps, and quite frankly, I proposed that this desire is 'innate' with a rather large pinch of salt. It may be that I've made the all too easy mistake of assuming that everyone thinks in the same way that I do. Nevertheless, from what I've noticed from other people, there is always this tendency to want to settle down after some time (my conversations over the last week have contributed quite a lot to this observation). Besides, having this innate desire to settle down would be in line with God's approval of marriage and His will that man and woman should be one. Assuming that all of us do have an innate desire to settle down then, we are still left with the question as to why some of God's most holy children remain single. After all, if we so desire marriage, something which God Himself approves of, would not God, our loving Heavenly Father give it to us?
When I told my coach of the doctor mentioned in my previous post, he asked me if I thought the doctor contributed more to society as a single man without the burdens of a family than as a married one who had to care for his family. I retorted that while that he may contribute more being single, one might as well argue that all of us should remain single so that we may contribute more to society without the burden of having to look after a family. His answer was simple. Those who are married contribute not only to society in their professional lives, but they too have a sacred responsibility of grooming the new generation. I guess then, it comes down to fact that God has given to each of us different gifts to fufill his different will for each of us. Some of us have been given gifts which would fufill His will better if we were to remain single while others have been given gifts which will fufill His will better if they were to be married. And ultimately, I suppose, the choice is ours. God approves of marriage, but if we so choose that we would serve Him better as a single man/woman, than He would help us with that decision by 'giving us a sense of fufillment' that married couples do not have. If however, we choose to get married and be settled down, I am certain that our loving Heavenly Father will surely not deprive us of that which He Himself has created and ordained.
posted by Jun Yi at 11:08 AM
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