A run down memory lane

One of the reasons why I like running is that running takes you to different places. Yes, I know that is a given but most people don't seem to see running as a form of 'transportation'. To be honest, it really isn't the most ideal form of transporation in the literal sense since you often end up at your destination both tired and drenched in sweat (especially here in Singapore). However, more than just the literal transportation of one's physical location, running often brings one back to times long gone. And thus it was that I went back in time when I ran from East Coast to Kallang yesterday.

Kallang will always be a place dear to me, simply because it was there where I grew up into who I am during those countless trainings. When I first started my run, I had no idea which route to take. My final destination was Kallang of course, but I couldn't decide on exactly which route to take. Therefore, I decided in the course of my run that I would simply visit all the places which held memories for me. Coming down from East Coast, the first landmark I came to was the 'overhead bridge' that spans the long gao (in our coach's jargon). That was the turning point for us as we 'ran the gaunlet' from the 1000m mark out in the basin to the long gao (a rather large canal that we can row in). We rarely went there in my later years of training because the construction of an underground expressway link in the long gao caused the place to be shut off to all water traffic. However, I distinctly remember training there on many hot afternoons and early mornings when I was in Sec 1, rowing a T-1, Medusa or Tortoise (these were names of our boats). Haha. It was also the place where we used to train in our dragonboats. I particularly remember one training session in which Mr. Jason Chin misread Sir's instructions and nearly killed all of us by making us do a crazy amount of sets without much rest. Thankfully, the heavens were kind to us that day and they refreshed us with cool waters from above. I vividly remember gasping for breath after an exhausting 2:00 min set and lifting my parched mouth to the overcast sky. It is amazing how refreshing those cold drops of rain water can be when one is spent.

Crossing the 'overhead bridge', I came to the Macs and KFC opposite the national stadium. That brought back memories of me walking with Roger and Qiang to Macs to get supper for the rest of the guys at his place. It was raining then and we had to put up in one of those disused bus stops because Macs or KFC wouldn't allow Roger in. So it was that the two of us and a big dog waited there in the dark bus stop for the rain to lighten before beginning our journery back to Qiang's place. I distinctly remember Roger wanting to eat some of our Macs food, but well, Macs isnt' very healthy for him so we didn't really give him any. Silly dog. I haven't seen him for quite some time, but I daresay he can easily knock me over by now. He is deceptively strong even then. I hope he still remembers me. Running past Macs, I soon came to Kallang Tennis Centre. And it was there that I was reminded once again of God's unbelievable sense of humour. Truly, He works in mysterious and completely unexpected ways.

The towering structure of the National Stadium soon loomed before me; and as I stared up at the steps leading to its western entrance, I heard from a time long gone, the sharp intakes of breaths from those beside me as we sprinted up the stairs, competing to finish the sprint and the mixture of push-ups, sit-ups and burpees after it first. And so it was that I, deciding to re-live those former days, charged up the stairs as I had done so all those years ago, complete with the exhausting exercises at the top of the stairs. I can't remember how many sets I did, but I'm actually aching today, a reflection of the dismal state of fitness I'm currently in. Exhausted, I jogged into the national stadium itself and was greeted by a seperate set of memories. As I passed by the blue KATC gym door, I saw through its wooden frame, the time when I was struggling to bench pull the crazy weights that Marcus always seemed to have no trouble lifting. And I saw Boris in there, bare footed as always, shepherding us to the track after all our exercises for the 1200m dash. Spent as I was from the 'stair-case circuit', I nevertheless decided to run the best that I could for the 1200m. Admittedly, my first 800m was done at a terribly slow pace, but at least for the last 400m, I managed to muster up what is left of my strength to finish off with a reasonable pace. The scene was somewhat familiar. The stands were empty and the stadium deserted. Only this time, there was daylight. We used to finish all our exercises in the KATC gym after nightfall, and therefore, the run was always done in the cover of darkness. I vividly remember chasing the vague shadows of people in front of me while struggling to stay ahead of the footsteps behind me. Completely breathless now, I walked out of the stadium to the road facing the kallang basin. It was oddly reminiscent of the time when I would walk out, exhausted but glad that another training was over. It would be completely dark by then; and I would walk to the street lamps by the side of the road and wait for my mum to pick me up. Sometimes, when there was a test tomorrow or if there was just simply to much work to do, I would resort to studying under the amber light of the street lamp. Whenever I was stuck on something, I would gaze up and look into the impenetrable darkness of the waters before me and the glowing outlines of Suntec City beyond them. Truth be told, it was a beautiful sight. But back then, I had little time to enjoy it. It was always a short respite before plunging back into the depths of F-maths, a subject that I was always failing in back then. Walking past the street lamps, I crossed the road to the banks of the basin. Here, I remembered organising the team for the final assault for the title, in which we all, by God's grace, came back victorious. And of course, I remembered how Zhi Wei and the team 'betrayed' our trust and poled us. -_-"

Knowing that I have to start running again to help get the lactic acid out of my legs, I started on my jog towards SDBA. It was a short journey and it didn't take long for me to arrive at the place where I had used to train. Everything there seemed more or less the same, except that there were now more showering cubicles outside of the toilets. Other than that, almost everything else remained the same. The vending machine that plays the funny tune when one insert coins into it looked the same as ever. So does the benches in which we used to sit on to gaze at the sea after training and the chin-up bars where all of us hang onto to take the last team photo there. Even the locks at one of our disused racks looked the same. Walking into the toilet, I was reminded of the times when I would be afraid to shower because when the clean water ran down my back and washed the open wound, the pain would be excruciating. As a result, I would always be the last to shower. But inevitably, I would have to shower. And so, after I have mustered up enough courage, I would step into the running water with eyes shut and jaws clenched tight, trying to think of happy memories while the water washed the open wound. Those were the days...

Leaving SDBA, I jogged (notice that by now I'm reduced to jogging instead of running) my way down to NCC, where we used to keep our boats back when I was still Sec 1. The place was locked up of course, but I could remember the days in which we still trained there. In particular, I remember the 1st of March, 2001 (Yup, that's Founder's Day). The ground was incredibily hot that day, and we were all running really fast so that our feet contacted the ground for as little time as possible. And I remembered Khairul and me being punished by Issac for standing in the water in an attempt to cool our feets. The pier where we always had our debriefs back then looked the same as ever. Somehow, I was reminded of the time when Shaun was looking at a couple taking their wedding photos while Sir was debriefing us. I can't remember what Sir did to him, but I remembered it was quite amusing. By then, I was rather tired (not to mention late), and so I decided to call it a day, but not before I did the usual post-training 70 elavated push-ups at the pier, after the fashion of the AC canoeing team. Enjoying the sea breeze for a while more, I then began on the run back to East Coast to conclude the run down a rather long memory lane. It had been a most enjoyable run.

Marriage

I've had a most interesting 2 weeks since I ended my course at Ayer Rajar Camp. It wasn't quite so much due to me being back at my unit where I struggled between the two extremes of boredom and endless working than it was that I had serveral conversations with different people. To top if off, I was once again reminded of the rather odd and, as some may believe it, coincidental formula - (29+17)/2 = 23. Yes, I know that this formula seems ridiculously simple and normal, yet I cannot help but be amused and amazed at God's sense of humour.

In any case, my conversations with my friend's mum and my coach have shed some light on the curious subject of marriage. My thoughts about this subject have always ended up with the questions at the bottom of my previous post. I shall now attempt to answer some of them with the insights that I've gained in the last week. A disclaimer before I began though, many of my 'answers' aren't really answers in the fashion of scientific answers with rigourous proofs. Rather, they are based mostly on empirical observations, and even so, they may not paint a complete picture since I obviously have not observed much of the world. It cannot be doubted that God approves of marriage. After all, He made man and woman to be together. Indeed, He Himself ordained the marriage between Adam and Eve before the fall and the introduction of evil into the world. Marriage then, was sacred and holy, for it was something which God approved of and created before sin came into our world. The question however, is whether God wills everyone of us to be married. After all, even though marriage is certainly approved and pleasing in God's eyes, are not many of God's most loyal children single? Inevitably linked to this line of thought would be the question of whether we have in all of us an innate desire to be married.

Personally, I believe that all of us do have an innate desire to settle down. That voice is perhaps buried deep within us, but I believe that it is present. In a way, it is analagous to the quiet voices which prompt us to seek a meaning in life and to question if there really is a God. As an aside, I find the following argument rather interesting. There is no reason to believe that something which we desire for does not exist. After all, everything which we desire for, exists. We desire for food when we are hungry; food exists. We desire for water when we are thirsty; water exists. We desire for companionship when we are alone; marriage exists. Well then, if all of us have an innate desire for God, then the only logical conclusion will be that God exists. Of course, many will argue that not all of us have an innate desire for God. To this contention, I have no defence save that those who so argues, should search deep within themselves truthfully and ask the question if they find within themselves an emptiness that can never be adequately filled. I apologise for the distracting detour, but I thought that it would be an interesting food for thought. Returning to my topic on marriage, some might similarly argue that not all of us have within us an innate desire to be married. That may be true perhaps, and quite frankly, I proposed that this desire is 'innate' with a rather large pinch of salt. It may be that I've made the all too easy mistake of assuming that everyone thinks in the same way that I do. Nevertheless, from what I've noticed from other people, there is always this tendency to want to settle down after some time (my conversations over the last week have contributed quite a lot to this observation). Besides, having this innate desire to settle down would be in line with God's approval of marriage and His will that man and woman should be one. Assuming that all of us do have an innate desire to settle down then, we are still left with the question as to why some of God's most holy children remain single. After all, if we so desire marriage, something which God Himself approves of, would not God, our loving Heavenly Father give it to us?

When I told my coach of the doctor mentioned in my previous post, he asked me if I thought the doctor contributed more to society as a single man without the burdens of a family than as a married one who had to care for his family. I retorted that while that he may contribute more being single, one might as well argue that all of us should remain single so that we may contribute more to society without the burden of having to look after a family. His answer was simple. Those who are married contribute not only to society in their professional lives, but they too have a sacred responsibility of grooming the new generation. I guess then, it comes down to fact that God has given to each of us different gifts to fufill his different will for each of us. Some of us have been given gifts which would fufill His will better if we were to remain single while others have been given gifts which will fufill His will better if they were to be married. And ultimately, I suppose, the choice is ours. God approves of marriage, but if we so choose that we would serve Him better as a single man/woman, than He would help us with that decision by 'giving us a sense of fufillment' that married couples do not have. If however, we choose to get married and be settled down, I am certain that our loving Heavenly Father will surely not deprive us of that which He Himself has created and ordained.